Embrace change – Be happier
Did you play the game of Happy Families as a child? While seeking to complete the Badger family, were you fooled into thinking that a Happy Family invariably consisted of Mr, Mrs, Grandma, Grandpa, and two children?
It could be complicated if we tried to play the game based upon 21st century families, with step parents, half-brothers, step sisters, civil partners and others in the mix.
That is often the basis of massive anxiety, particularly amongst people raised in the 40s and 50s, the baby-boomers. Many of my older clients have sleepless nights fretting about a son or daughter’s marriage, finances or choice of partner. Others worry that grandchildren lack stability - weekends with Dad and his new girlfriend, weekdays with Mum who is struggling or whatever the arrangements are.
Baby-boomer grandparents grew up in an age when families generally stayed together, but did it always mean domestic bliss? Some were lucky but many simply endured their lot. Alcoholism and abuse were not unusual but were hushed up. The perceived shame of divorce was enough to keep unhappy families trapped under the same roof and step parents lived mainly within the pages of fairy stories.
Now, in later years, do you find it difficult to accept the values of today’s society? It could be argued that it is better for couples to make changes if they are unhappy. It may be hard initially for children to adapt but they will cope if parents act with maturity, do not bad-mouth each other or use the children as bargaining pawns. Many of their school friends have overcome upheavals. Youngsters have more resilience than we think. With sensitive handling, they can survive relatively unscathed.
Then there are the heart-breaking rifts between loved ones, in-laws, estranged siblings, rejection when a family member has ‘come out’ as gay, distress when half the family moves abroad, the list goes on.
Hypnotherapy really can help with the fall-out from family conflict as you learn to reframe and embrace situations. You can build up your own confidence so that your happiness is no longer determined by anyone else’s behaviour or actions.
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About Sarah Sollom
Sarah Sollom, DHP, DSFH, HPD. As a former teacher and school counsellor, I am now well past middle age and therefore have a wealth of life experience and empathy with my clients. I practise in a quiet corner of Cricklade with free parking in my driveway so you can arrive feeling calm.