Can I change my mind?
Attitude is the way we view issues, the way we view people affects and the way we treat those issues and people. What informs attitudes are our beliefs, both about ourselves, our relationship to others and about others.
Our beliefs are formed in many ways. We are taught certain values in our family, community, religions, political allegiance, our peers and then there are our observations of others and the evaluation we make of what appears to be reality.
Reality is subjective and is based on all the foregoing so what we hold to be true may be directly opposite to what someone else believes equally strongly. Here lies conflict. “Before you judge me walk a mile in my shoes” is an often quoted phrase when people feel they are being harshly or inaccurately judged. It would be equally valid for the judging person to say the same thing back, that way each would have a greater understanding of the others perspective. However, that rarely happens so each carries on with their own belief, and each has their resolve doubled by the threat of being judged by the other.
Quickly a misunderstanding, or more accurately a lack of understanding, becomes the core of a position that has to be defended. Here balance goes out of the window, anything that seems to support the case is accepted, noted, repeated while contradictory information is discarded, ignored, disbelieved.
Each side becomes more and more entrenched and the narrowing of their viewpoints cuts off any possible compromise, change of view - it becomes tunnel vision, it feels like weakness to even admit that there may be another view.
Reality is personal, subjective, partial, selective and often unreal.
Building on shaky foundations
We run our lives basing everything on what we perceive to be true and right but if those fundamental beliefs are not right everything that follows from that has the makings of a disaster.
Beliefs about our abilities, our limits, our relationships, our place in the family, community, hierarchy all determine the choices we will make and it is relatively easy to then predict the outcomes that will follow.
We can often see why others get in a mess but we don’t spot the signs of our own impending implosion because we believe we are right, doing our best and subject to external influences that somehow take control of us.
How do we unravel all of this
We take time out... come to a standstill (yes you can make time for this) look around, look at what you believe and why you believe it. It helps to imagine you are looking from the outside, almost interviewing yourself about your beliefs, challenging yourself to justify those beliefs. If you can't justify them recognise where the belief came from and why you accepted it but then consider what you want to believe now and what difference that new belief will have in your life and what changes it will cause in your actions.
Change your mind
A common phrase, but a powerful and achievable goal that will put you back in control. Need help? That’s what hypnotherapists do, we take you to that calm, safe place, give you space to stop, look, assess, change and move forward. Change happens when you make it happen. Hypnotherapists give you the guidance, the tools and the confidence so that you make the changes that you want. Check the directory there is someone near you that can make this happen, the process begins and ends with you.
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About Martin Williams
I use both hypnotherapy and mindfulness to enable clients to resolve issues. I have a wide range of health and well-being interests and therefore am able to create the processes and strategies that help clients get the results they seek. Every treatment plan is unique, developed in consultation with you.