Be super confident at work in three easy steps

One of the main issues blocking many of us from feeling confident and happy at work is self-doubt.

If we are plagued with self-doubt, we may try to cover it up with a bullish attitude, a passive 'I don't care' attitude or a passive-aggressive approach when we resort to being manipulative and try to win by using underhand tactics that disrespect the other person.

The right kind of assertiveness is a key factor in feeling good about yourself, resolving issues and in being perceived by bosses and colleagues as super competent.

When there might be trouble ahead...

Let us imagine that you have been in charge for some time on a substantial project. You have given it your all, and are feeling pleased, but some negative feedback comes in about how the project is going. The boss calls you in to discuss progress.

The meeting could press the panic button in many of us. However, using these three steps, you can avoid the stress and get an outcome that has you looking and feeling great.

Step one - Protect your mental health

Keep calm. Avoid ramping up emotions and visualising doom and gloom scenarios. Tell yourself politely that you will manage this situation. Remind yourself in detail of the difficult things you have done before. Practising deep breathing exercises and imagining friendly outcomes really helps. Remind yourself that any criticisms may be well intentioned - they are unlikely to be deliberate sabotage.

Step two - Preparation

Prepare for the meeting by reading the criticisms and any relevant documents and discussing it with someone you can rely on for a measured view. Make notes of the desirable outcomes etc.

Step three - Managing criticism assertively

At the meeting, use open body language. Avoid glaring, grimacing, shrugging shoulders, shuffling papers when someone is talking, or staring at the wall. These non-verbal signals convey hostility. Always, always stay calm.

Acknowledge negative points, without necessarily agreeing with them. This will show the boss that you are confident in your skills.  

Even if you feel the criticism is very unfair, it is still important to acknowledge it without getting angry.

You could say, 'I have given their concerns considerable thought. I am aware the person carrying out the review only had a limited amount of time, so naturally they may have made oversights or missed things we had done.

Some points are quite small and can easily be dealt with. Other comments mean a change of tack that would affect our agreed priorities.

In order to work efficiently, we need to meet our agreed deadlines. If we take on additional work at this stage of the project, I am concerned that we may miss the deadline. I'd like to take some time to review priorities. I still feel our main priority should be the one agreed at the start of the project.'

Expressing your views along these kind of lines, strikes the well balanced note that will impress. It conveys a sense of fairness and It is much more likely to lead to the  outcome you want. 

More help is at hand...

If you dread Monday morning, do address the subconscious causes as it can become ingrained behaviour that only gets worse over time.

Consulting a hypnotherapist can transform your life. It can enable you to see yourself completely differently and take your career to levels you never dreamed of. Only a few sessions can make a huge difference.

Be careful when making your choice to get just the right person. Their testimonials as well as qualifications are a good indicator of quality.