A Word of Advice
Almost every day people suffer from unexplained anxiety. When questioned, they often say they don't feel as close to a parent as they would wish. Under hypnosis they frequently reveal that an incident took place, often when they were about five or six, which results in their current problems.
The attention given to a younger brother or sister can sometimes prompt a young child to wonder whether she (or he) is still loved by her parents. If something happens to "prove" they don't love her, then that child will sometimes suffer problems for the rest of her life. To the parent, the actual event may seem trivial.
The following is a true story – a woman of over 50. This lady had always felt there was a barrier between her and her mother, and the older she got the worse it got. It also played on her mind all the time. She and her younger sister also happen to be very competitive with each other.
She and her 3 year old sister were playing at cutting out shapes when she was about 6. She was already feeling jealous of the sister, and was feeling aggrieved at the amount of attention her sister was getting. Purely by accident, the little one cut the big sister's finger quite badly. Take a moment to picture the scene: blood everywhere - Mum panicking – the two sisters screaming. Now, Dad comes to the rescue and takes her to A&E to get patched up.
To the elder sister, though, what had really happened was that her wee sister had tried to cut her finger off. And what happened? Mum cuddled the wee sister even after what she'd done! Her Dad took care of her fine, but Mum apparently didn't love her enough to come to the hospital!
We all remember injustices as children. We remember what it was like to get a row for something we haven’t done. Such moments really can have quite an effect on us. All parents sometimes make mistakes or take things for granted. However, it’s important occasionally for parents to sit down with young children and talk to them. Choose a time when things are calm and peaceful. Explain that you love all your children equally, and that there will be times when you make mistakes and blame one for the other's misdemeanours.
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