Top habits of emotionally resourceful people
17th June, 20140 Comments
Have you ever wondered how some people just seem to:
- Be able to operate in a happy, confident and resourceful way, even when all around them are having an emotional meltdown?
- Come across as positive and optimistic whilst still living in the real world and facing into the challenges of life?
- Be highly effective and attract more of what they want from life?
Study the habits of these ‘emotionally resourceful’ people and it becomes easier to see how they do it, and how they manage to create a life they love to live.
By beginning to take a new perspective, and to consciously adopt some of these habits for yourself, you may be pleasantly surprised at how quickly you notice changes in your own life. Take on one or two of these each week and just play with doing things differently.
1. Take responsibility
Emotionally resourceful people don’t mope around feeling sorry for themselves, dwelling on how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair, that sometimes they have to accept what they cannot change.
2. Understand you have a choice in how you respond
Resourceful individuals don’t have the impression that their emotional experience is controlled by the actions or words of other people. If you notice their language, it will not be passive or in ‘victim mode’ …. eg “My boyfriend takes away my confidence”. They understand that they have control over their own emotions and a choice in how they respond to external events.
3. Embrace change
By welcoming change and being willing to be flexible and resourceful people understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt and to learn life lessons from whatever the universe lays in their path.
4. Choose what gets your attention
We feel what we focus on. By giving lost luggage, traffic jams or the rude colleague your attention you will be guaranteed to feel angry, frustrated or offended. Instead, an emotionally resourceful person will focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognise that sometimes, the only thing they have influence over is their own attitude and emotional response.
5. Be OK with people not liking you
Resourceful types recognise that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. Whilst setting a clear intention to be kind and fair, they accept other people being upset and are able to form healthy boundaries in relationships which work for them rather than feeling used and trampled by the neediness of others.
6. Take risks
Resourceful people are playful, and they realise life is an ongoing experiment from which they can keep learning lessons. When you are free from over-attachment to ‘getting it right’, you let go of paralysing analysis of what might go wrong. By taking risks, resourceful people take more action. By taking action they learn more and make more ongoing impact on their lives and other people.
7. Live in the present
The present is the only moment that you can experience anything directly. By dwelling on past regrets or mistakes, or predicting the future, we are lost in thinking, and one step removed from the present. Emotionally resourceful people show up in the moment, take it in through their senses, and take part.
8. Do something different
If emotionally resourceful people are not getting the results they want, they dare to take a new action…”If you keep on doing what you’ve been doing – you will keep getting what you’ve been getting”.
By accepting responsibility for your behavior and learning from past mistakes, you don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, you can move on more easily and make better decisions in the future.
9. Teach people how to treat you
The resourceful person will teach others how to treat them. You can teach people through what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce.
10. Know there’s no such thing as failure
What is failure? Look at all those examples of highly successful people who ‘failed’ many, many times before they hit their formula for success. Resourceful people do not view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to learn, grow and improve - seeing it more as 'feedback'. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.
11. Enjoy your own company
Resourceful people are just as happy alone as they are with a group. They embrace silence and stillness and use downtime to be productive. By enjoying your own company, you are not dependent on the companionship and entertainment from others to ‘make’ you feel good, instead you become emotionally self-sufficient.
12. Know the world doesn’t owe you a favour
Emotionally resourceful people don’t feel entitled to things in life, they don’t adopt that mentality that others should take care of them or that the world owes them. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.
After experimenting with some new habits, if you are still finding some blocks, or that you are getting in your own way, it can be a good starting point to contact a practitioner who will be professionally trained in helping you let go of those annoying patterns which no longer serve or support your ongoing happiness and fulfilment.
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Elaine Marsh C DIP,EH, CP,NLP,ABH, CHYP, MPMH CPDFebruary 1st, 2017