Time and Emotion Study
As an employee, partner, parent (single or otherwise), carer or a member of society generally, we will all at some time have a sense of being “too busy” or “too stressed” to get everything we need done, let alone to actually experience the joy of life (or any of the other joys that often get written and mythicized about!). What is even worse than that is that, most often, many of us will not accept the responsibility for that situation and will blame everything else for the difficult circumstances we personally face.
That often leads to a vicious cycle as the frustration at our challenges leads us to struggle more, to try harder, despite which we sometimes with become even more unfocused and unreliable with the most basic of our tasks. Maybe we miss a deadline at work, arrive late to deliver the kids to school or simply snap (or worse) at those around us.
As for joy, it is simply not accessible to us; not even in the quiet moments when, with hindsight, we recognise that we are not behaving as we want to and yet we know, in the moment, we can’t seem to stop ourselves from doing the same old thing, those 'same old same old' cycle like behaviours.
At this point, maybe with support, it is helpful if we slow the pace, clam down and take a full time and emotion study.
This means simply reviewing our priorities, taking a check on how we have been spending our time and effort, and specifically how much emotionally energy we have spent on certain issues. Very often those issues that take the most energy are simply not worth it. In that case, it is easy to agree that how we use our emotional energy and how we apply attention to our priorities often needs to be more balanced.
This can often be likened to balancing the daily house hold budget; by imagining that, each and every day, we have a budget of time and emotional energy to spend and that it is our responsibility to be spend wisely.
Firstly, we should spend our budget on the essentials. This are our key and important priorities. To do that, we may have to free up the effort we have been spending too much of on the past. If that is the case, we may find that we need to do some quietening down of past circumstances, which some call ‘healing our past wounds’. If that frees up emotional budget, it makes sense to do so!
Sometimes we find we are spending too much on the future; maybe overly worrying about things that may never occur. As Mark Twain reminds us “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened”. The point being we should not spend energy on future worries unnecessarily. Make that part of your budget spent wisely too.
Similarly, out of all budgets it is always sensible to spend a little on “what you fancy” – a treat or reward of some description. When we reward ourselves, even if it is just doing something nice for someone, the feel good factor is like earning some extra budget to spend for that day, it’s a little bit of joy. It truly is an investment that returns more.
It’s your right to move a little closer to joy, so if you find balancing your emotional budget difficult, seek help through a time and emotion study.
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Elaine Marsh C DIP,EH, CP,NLP,ABH, CHYP, MPMH CPDFebruary 1st, 2017