There’s one belief in particular that holds many of us back, it makes us procrastinate and stops us from fulfilling our true potential. This menacing belief is:
“I’m not good enough.”
Whether you think it at work, in your relationships or as a parent – most of us will experience this debilitating thought from time to time. The part of you that believes this uses the thought to stop you getting close to success, because the closer you get to success, the closer you get to being ‘discovered’ as a fraud, right? Wrong.
The part of you that has this belief can (and should) be stopped. Take a look below for three steps to change the way you think and stop self-sabotaging beliefs:
1. Find the part of you that holds this belief
The thought “I’m not good enough” usually stems from an experience. Pinning down this experience is an important first step if you want to eliminate this thought. Take some time to think back to the first time you felt you weren’t good enough – perhaps you weren’t chosen for a sports team at school, or you answered a question incorrectly in class. Think about what was said to you and how it made you feel.
2. Allow this part of you to feel
There’s a good chance that back when you had this first experience, you weren’t able to fully express your emotions. It may seem odd, but taking the time now to really experience these emotions is key to moving on. Support the parts of you that feel anger and nurture the parts of you that feel humiliation. Allow those emotions to run their natural course.
3. Teach yourself new beliefs
Once you have set these emotions free you can begin to teach yourself a new belief, “I am good enough”. Some people find affirmations helpful, but it isn’t always easy to rewire your thinking with words alone. Instead, try to be vigilant of the moments when you feel unworthy and not good enough. When these moments come up, question yourself and ask the following:
- Why do I not feel good enough?
- Where did these thoughts originate?
- What does the part of me that believes I’m not good enough need from me right now?
Give yourself love and compassion in these moments and teach yourself that you are worthy with actions – not words.